How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Highlights

The load of tomorrow, added to that of yesterday, carried today, makes the strongest falter. Shut off the future as tightly as the past.

You and I and everyone else are like this hourglass. When we start in the morning, there are hundreds of tasks which we feel that we must accomplish that day, but if we do not take them one at a time and let them pass through the day slowly and evenly, as do the grains of sand passing through the narrow neck of the hourglass, then we are bound to break our own physical or mental structure.

found the same problems arising in business that had arisen during the war: a score of things had to be done at once—and there was little time to do them.

Yet a vast majority of those people would be walking the streets today, leading happy, useful lives, if they had only heeded the words of Jesus: “Have no anxiety about the morrow”; or the words of Sir William Osier: “Live in day-tight compartments.”

‘Every day is a new life to a wise man.’

I found it wasn’t so hard to live only one day at a time. I learned to forget the yesterdays and to not think of the tomorrows. Each morning I said to myself: ‘Today is a new life.’

famous Indian dramatist, Kalidasa: Salutation to the Dawn Look to this day! For it is life, the very life of life. In its brief course Lie all the verities and realities of your existence: The bliss of growth The glory of action The splendour of achievement. For yesterday is but a dream And tomorrow is only a vision, But today well lived makes yesterday a dream of happiness And every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day! Such is the salutation to the dawn.

Why not ask yourself these questions, and write down the answers? Do I tend

Shut the iron doors on the past and the future. Live in Day-tight Compartments Why not ask yourself these questions, and write down the answers? Do I tend to put off living in the present in order to worry about the future, or to yearn for some “magical rose garden over the horizon”? Do I sometimes embitter the present by regretting things that happened in the past—that are over and done with? Do I get up in the morning determined to “Seize the day”—to get the utmost out of these twenty-four hours? Can I get more out of life by “living in day-tight compartments”? When shall I start to do this? Next week?… Tomorrow?… Today?

“Step I. I analysed the situation fearlessly and honestly and figured out what was the worst that could possibly happen as a result of this failure. No

It is simple. Anyone can use it. It consists of three steps: “Step I. I analysed the situation fearlessly and honestly and figured out what was the worst that could possibly happen as a result of this failure.

“Step II. After figuring out what was the worst that could possibly happen, I reconciled myself to accepting it, if necessary.

“Step III. From that time on, I calmly devoted my time and energy to trying to improve upon the worst which I had already accepted mentally.

“I probably would never have been able to do this if I had kept on worrying, because one of the worst features about worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate.

So, Rule 2 is: If you have a worry problem, apply the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier by doing these three things— Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?” Prepare to accept it if you have to. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.

Can any man possibly be a success who is paying for business advancement with stomach ulcers and heart trouble? What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world—and loses his health?

Their “nervous troubles” are caused not by a physical deterioration of the nerves, but by emotions of futility, frustration, anxiety, worry, fear, defeat, despair.

Dr. Russell L. Cecil, of the Cornell University Medical School, is a world-recognised authority on arthritis; and he has listed four of the commonest conditions that bring on arthritis: Marital shipwreck. Financial disaster and grief. Loneliness and worry. Long-cherished resentments.

As Charles Kettering puts it: “A problem well stated is a problem half solved.”

For years, whenever I was worried I had always gone to my typewriter and written down two questions—and the answers to these questions: What am I worrying about? What can I do about it? “I used to try to answer those questions without writing them down. But I stopped that years ago. I found that writing down both the questions and the answers clarifies my thinking.

So I banish about ninety per cent of my worries by taking these four steps: Writing down precisely what I am worrying about. Writing down what I can do about it. Deciding what to do. Starting immediately to carry out that decision.

He meant-once you have made a careful decision based on facts, go into action. Don’t stop to reconsider. Don’t begin to hesitate, worry, and retrace your steps. Don’t lose yourself in self-doubting which begets other doubts. Don’t keep looking back over your shoulder.

What is the problem? What is the CAUSE of the problem? What are all possible solutions to the problem? What solution do you suggest?

Osa Johnson had discovered the same truth that Tennyson had sung about a century earlier: “I must lose myself in action, lest I wither in despair.”

work cure many persons who have suffered from trembling palsy of the soul which results from overmastering doubts, hesitations, vacillation and fear. … Courage given us by our work is like the self-reliance which Emerson has made for ever glorious.” If you and I don’t keep busy—if we sit around and brood—we will hatch out a whole flock of what Charles Darwin used to call the “wibber gibbers”. And the “wibber gibbers” are nothing but old-fashioned gremlins that will run us hollow and destroy our power of action and our power of will.

To break the worry habit, here is Rule 1: Keep busy. The worried person must lose himself in action, lest he wither in despair.

Disraeli said: “Life is too short to be little.” “Those words,” said Andre Maurois in This Week magazine, “have helped me through many a painful experience: often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. … Here we are on this earth, with only a few more decades to live, and we lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that, in a year’s time, will be forgotten by us and by everybody. No, let us devote our life to worthwhile actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings. For life is too short to be little.”

Rule 2: Let’s not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember “Life is too short to be

“By the law of averages, it won’t happen.’ That phrase has destroyed ninety per cent of my worries; and it has made the past twenty years of my life beautiful and peaceful beyond my highest expectations.”

Then I asked myself: ‘How many of those cars were ever wrecked?’ The answer was: ‘Oh—maybe five.’ Then I said to myself: ‘Only five-out of twenty-five thousand? Do you know what that means? A ratio of five thousand to one! In other words, by the law of averages, based on experience, the chances are five thousand to one against one of your cars ever being wrecked.

To break the worry habit before it breaks you—here is Rule 3: “Let’s examine the record.” Let’s ask ourselves: “What are the chances, according to the law of averages, that this event I am worrying about will ever occur?”

It is astonishing how quickly we can accept almost any situation—if we have to—and adjust ourselves to it and forget about

This priceless prayer was written by Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr, Professor of Applied Christianity, Union Theological Seminary, Broadway and 120th Street, New York. God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; The courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference.

To break the worry habit before it breaks you, Rule 4 is: Co-operate with the inevitable.

She even rolled on the floor with an opium bottle held to her lips, and threatened to commit suicide, while the children huddled in a corner of the room and screamed with terror. And what did Tolstoy do? Well, I don’t blame the man for up and smashing the furniture—he had good provocation.

greatest secrets to true peace of mind—a decent sense of values.

Yes, I honestly believe that this is one of the greatest secrets to true peace of mind—a decent sense of values.

So, to break the worry habit before it breaks you, here is Rule 5: Whenever we are tempted to throw good money after bad in terms of human living, let’s stop and ask ourselves these three Questions: How much does this thing I am worrying about really matter to me? At what point shall I set a “stop-loss” order on this worry—and forget it? Exactly how much shall I pay for this whistle? Have I already paid more than it is worth?

Even a Mongolian idiot wouldn’t dream of trying to go back 180 million years to change those tracks.

George Washington Carver, the Negro scientist,

It is embarrassing for me to admit all this stupidity; but I discovered long ago that “it is easier to teach twenty what were good to be done than to be one of twenty to follow mine own teaching.”

“Of course, you can’t saw sawdust!” Mr. Shedd exclaimed. “It’s already sawed! And it’s the same with the past. When you start worrying about things that are over and done with, you’re merely trying to saw sawdust.”

And, anyhow, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put the past together again. So let’s remember Rule 7: Don’t try to saw sawdust.

The great philosopher who ruled the Roman Empire, Marcus Aurelius, summed it up in eight words—eight words that can determine your destiny: “Our life is what our thoughts make it.”

Norman Vincent Peale, “you are not what you think you are; but what you think, you are.”

Allenby’s conquest of the Holy Land. His illustrated talks entitled

Thomas do just that. I once had the privilege of being

even when Lowell Thomas was facing huge debts and severe disappointments, he was concerned, but not worried. He knew that if he let his reverses get him down, he would be worthless to everyone, including his creditors. So each morning before he started out, he bought a flower, put it in his buttonhole, and went swinging down Oxford Street with his head high and his step spirited.

Thinketh by James Lane Allen, and here’s what it said: “A man will find that as he alters his thoughts towards things and other people, things and other people will alter towards him. . . . Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life. Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are. … The divinity that shapes our ends is in ourselves. It is our very self. .. . All that a man achieves is the direct result of his own thoughts. … A man can only rise, conquer and achieve by lifting up his thoughts. He can only remain weak and abject and miserable by refusing to lift up his thoughts.”

Just For Today Just for today I will be happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness is from within; it is not a matter of externals. Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them. Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse it

When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil.

Edith Cavell uttered two sentences that have been preserved in bronze and granite: “I realise that patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness toward anyone.”

Laurence Jones, the man who was about to be lynched, was, as I have already said, a Negro himself and was accused of helping to arouse his race to insurrection.

Laurence Jones, a coloured teacher and preacher, was about to be lynched.

So instead of hating our enemies, let’s pity them and thank God that life has not made us what they are. Instead of heaping condemnation and revenge upon our enemies, let’s give them our understanding, our sympathy, our help, our forgiveness, and our prayers.”

To cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness, remember that Rule 2 is: Let’s never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let’s do as General Eisenhower does: let’s never waste a minute thinking about people we don’t like.

“I am going to meet people today who talk too much—people who are selfish, egotistical, ungrateful. But I won’t be surprised or disturbed, for I couldn’t imagine a world without such people.” That makes sense, doesn’t it? If you and I go around

Here is the first point I am trying to make in this chapter: It is natural for people to forget to be grateful; so, if we go around expecting gratitude, we are headed straight for a lot of heartaches.

Here is the second point I am trying to make in this chapter: If we want to find happiness, let’s stop thinking about gratitude or ingratitude and give for the inner joy of giving.

To avoid resentment and worry over ingratitude, here is Rule 3: A. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let’s expect it. Let’s remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got? B. Let’s remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy of giving. C. Let’s remember that gratitude is a “cultivated” trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.

I had the blues because I had no shoes, Until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. I once asked Eddie Rickenbacker what was the

I had the blues because I had no shoes, Until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.

The habit I formed then of counting my blessings each morning still remains with me. It is one of my most precious possessions.

“There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.”

If we want to stop worrying and start living, Rule 4 is: Count your blessings—not your troubles!

“Nobody is so miserable as he who longs to be somebody and something other than the person he is in body and mind.”

he has interviewed more than sixty thousand job seekers; and he has written a book entitled 6 Ways to Get a Job. He replied: “The biggest mistake people make in applying for jobs is in not being themselves. Instead of taking their hair down and being completely frank, they often try to give you the answers they think you want.” But it doesn’t work, because nobody wants a phony. Nobody ever wants a counterfeit coin.

You are something new in this world. Be glad of it. Make the most of what nature gave you. In the last analysis, all art is autobiographical. You can sing only what you are. You can paint only what you are. You must be what your experiences, your environment, and your heredity have made you. For better or for worse, you must cultivate your own little garden. For better or for worse, you must play your own little instrument in the orchestra of life.

To cultivate a mental attitude that will bring us peace and freedom from worry, here is Rule 5: Let’s not imitate others. Let’s find ourselves and be ourselves.

Two men looked out from prison bars, One saw the mud, the other saw stars.

no hope of our ever being able to turn our lemons into lemonade—then here are two reasons why we ought to try, anyway—two reasons why we have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Reason one: We may succeed. Reason two: Even if we don’t succeed, the mere attempt to turn our minus into a plus will cause us to look forward instead of backward; it will replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts; it will release creative energy and spur us to get so busy that we won’t have either the time or the inclination to mourn over what is past and for ever gone.

The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence; and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.

Alfred Adler. He used to say to his melancholia patients: “You can be cured in fourteen days if you follow this prescription. Try to think every day how you can please someone.”

Two thousand, one hundred and seventeen officers and enlisted men in the Navy and Marine Corps were killed and 960 were reported missing.

But the astounding thing to me was this: since I was a good listener and encouraged the boys to talk about themselves, I gave them happiness and I gradually became the most popular girl in our social group and three of these men proposed marriage to me.” (There you are, girls: that is the way it is done.)

If you are a man, skip this paragraph. It won’t interest you. It tells how a worried, unhappy girl got several men to propose to her.

Then I went away to college; and gradually, as the years passed, a change came over me. I studied biology, science, philosophy, and comparative religions. I read books on how the Bible was written. I began to question many of its assertions. I began to doubt many of the narrow doctrines taught by the country preachers of that day. I was bewildered.

They know, as one of their leaders, Dr. A. A. Brill said: “Anyone who is truly religious does not develop a neurosis.”

“No. I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn’t need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe that everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about?”

Genry Ford lol

Today, even psychiatrists are becoming modern evangelists. They are not urging us to lead religious lives to avoid hell-fires in the next world, but they are urging us to lead religious lives to avoid the hell-fires of this world—the hell-fires of stomach ulcer, angina pectoris, nervous breakdowns, and insanity.

Jesus declared that there were only two important things about religion: loving God with all our heart, and our neighbour as ourselves. Any man who does that is religious, regardless of whether he knows it.

One of the most distinguished psychiatrists living, Dr. Carl Jung, says in his book Modern Man in Search of a Soul, “During the past thirty years, people from all the civilised countries of the earth have consulted me. I have treated many hundreds of patients. Among all my patients in the second half of life—that is to say, over thirty-five—there has not been one whose problem in the last resort was not that of finding a religious outlook on life. It is safe to say that every one of them fell ill because he had lost that which the living religions of every age have given to their followers, and none of them has been really healed who did not regain his religious outlook.”

Jesus gave to His disciples about how to keep from worrying: Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; not yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body

‘Berts, I can’t give that little guy up.’ Have you ever seen a man cry? It isn’t a pleasant experience.

So when you are kicked and criticised, remember that it is often done because it gives the kicker a feeling of importance. It often means that you are accomplishing something and are worthy of attention.

If we are tempted to be worried about unjust criticism here is Rule 1: Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.